


Stream of Memories

by Hihana (Ryuosen)



Series: Life&Memories [1]
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M, Romance, Sexual Content, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-29
Updated: 2010-04-29
Packaged: 2017-10-09 05:36:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/83608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryuosen/pseuds/Hihana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kadaj's remembers his first meeting with his older brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stream of Memories

Stream of Memories

By Hihana

Genre  
After Advent Children, Romance,

Rating  
R – NC17

Summary  
Kadaj's remembers his first meeting with his older brother.

Disclaimer  
Belongs all to me! gets prodded with a stick This is a disclaimer! Right, which means they are NOT mine!

** Warning **

This story contains MALE/MALE romance. If you're offended by the fact that Cloud and kadaj are getting it on, PLEASE LEAVE.

Notes  
Nothig new here. I fixed a few typos and added a bit to the story as I wasn't satisfied with it.

Version 00, updated on 12.03.2005, Word Count: 11424

Version 01, updated on 12.17.2005, Word Count: 12012

Okay I really like to hear your opinion on this piece of work. So hit the damn review button and tell me.

That's all I think ….

bye and thank you for the reading the story…

Hihana

PS: I'm writing a companion piece to this describing Cloud's thoughts and feelings about the encounter.

_Stream of Memories_

Memories.

They were his most precious thing he possessed. In a world were you were part of everything and nothing. Separation was hard and staying separated even harder. But he wanted to stay like this, keeping his memories to himself, unknown even from his brothers.

They wouldn't approve if they knew and if they could they would walk back into the world of the living to kick ass. As the youngest they had always protected him, even though he had no problem in trouncing them both.

_"That doesn't matter chibi; we are your older brothers. It's our right to protect you."_

Chibi, only someone totally insane would dare call him that, but then again these were Yazoo and Loz, his family. They cared, more than anyone else ever had and would. No one in the world of the living had fond memories of him and his brothers. And everyone else who had known him was dead. Everyone but two and only one of them had known him better.

"Kadaj! Come it's time."

The sound of that voice caused the corners of his lips to turn upwards. He wished his mother had had such a voice, but no hers had been harsh, cold, merciless and unforgiving. Just like the voice of Nii-sama. His body shuddered, no both of them had certainly nothing in common with the voice he had, in the moment of his death, mistaken for his mothers.

She looked like he had first seen her years ago, as she had called and accepted him into the lifestream. The pink dress, the brown hair and the kind face with the most enigmatic smile he had ever seen. Aerith, the voice of the planet, accepting her hand he pulled himself up. She was unusually strong for such a petite woman. Then again she was taller than him by one inch.

It was time and he didn't want to miss it. Following her, they passed many people, who were waiting to be reborn. Many of the faces were unknown to him despite being here for a long time. Some of them joined him and Aerith, her boyfriend Zack being among them.

But even now, after so many years there were still some who knew what he and his brothers had done. He could feel their eyes on him, but he didn't care. Only in the lifestream a soul could recall all their lives and memories. They didn't understand, barely one would understand their motives for doing what they had done and none had even tried, save one. That one person was the reason he was still here and hadn't followed his brothers into the circle of life. Aerith had offered him to be reborn, but he had declined.

There was no guarantee, that he would meet his brothers again and more importantly he would lose all what defined him. His name, Kadaj, chosen by Yazoo and Loz, his body, created from his Nii-sama Sphiroth. But most important he would lose his memories, he would forget how he was created, who he had met, and who he had _loved_. Yazoo and Loz were different, they had known him and that was it, they had as far as he knew never done anything like he had.

"Kadaj, stop brooding. It's time."

That warm voice pulled him back into reality, the lifestream, an eternal circle of death and rebirth. Only few like him and Zack stayed longer than a few months before being reborn. But the ones who stayed had their reasons, just like him. Now though wasn't the right time to brood, in a few minutes it was time. Together with Aerith and the others he watched as the portal between the Promised Land and the world of the planet opened. Carefully they all stepped through.

Bright rays of light welcomed them. Turning around he noticed, that they were on the cliff shortly before Midgar, or better the place where once Midgar had been. Today there was a paradise of nature. Only those who were old enough would remember, that the green mountain in the centre of the forest once had been the destroyed ShinRa tower and the hidden oasis with water, rumoured to cure every illness, once a spring to heal those inflicted with Geostigma; send by the planet itself.

"Here they come."

Right, it was time. The big red cat followed by two smaller ones became visible. He had never met the one they called Nanaki, but Aerith had told him about their adventures. Nanaki had been the only one of his kind by the time Aerith had died, but about 200 years ago the planet had once again created his race, making them now a pack of 6. Every year they would come here to mourn their friends and celebrate the new life of the planet.

Exactly 500 years ago his Niisan had defeated Sephiroth and 498 years ago he had died along with his brothers marking the way for a golden age of prosperity and wealth for the planet. ShinRa had never again gained enough power to become the empire they once had been. Rufus ShinRa had been the last major company head of ShinRa. He had been assassinated only twenty two years after Meteor. With him the Turks had vanished too. The woman and the man from Wutai he, Yazoo and Loz had tortured for information had died with him in the last great assassination of Midgar.

The red haired loudmouth had gotten married with the fighting girl his brother had lived with, something that still gave him nightmares. Their ancestors, still recognizable by the shocking red hair and brown eyes, owned numerous bars in different towns. The other Turk with the sunglasses had opened a shop together with an unknown woman. He hadn't held enough interest to find out who she was.

The man with the machine gun, Barret, invented the modern nature friendly way to produce energy. He never understood completely how it exactly worked, but sun energy was it. His daughter, the kid Loz had once brought with them to the meeting place in the ancient forest, had married the young boy, Denzel. The airship mechanic went out with someone and constructed airships. The construction plans were sold.

The weird man behind the cat puppet took over with the leadership of the remaining ShinRa Company. He closed the MAKO research department and paid more attention to the rebuilding of Midgar. Neo-Midgar was the result, after that ShinRa was split into eight companies. The man, Reeve, became mayor of Neo-Midgar. Yuffie, the material stealing Ninja girl followed her father's footsteps and led Wutai, working closely together with Reeve. She died giving birth to her fifth child. But even today he swore he could sometimes see the spirit of the young woman in reincarnated people.

"Hey, there's Cloud." Indeed, there near Nanaki sat his Niisan. The clothes had barely changed a black sweater instead of a blue one, the modified shoulder guard with the broach, shaped like the head of a wolf, pinned into it. Matching pants and a leather coat, which reminded him of the ones he and Yazoo had worn. On his back he still carried his six piece sword, though at the moment it laid near him on the rocks. Blond strands of hair, still unmanageable, framed the flawless face. His skin now held a healthy colour opposed to the pale skin the Geostigma had given him. Not tanned but darker than before.

"Vincent's there too."

The vampire sat next to Niisan, his head pillowed against Niisan's right shoulder with an unusual serene expression on his face. He, too, hadn't really changed. The same clothes, the same gun, the same face. The only shocking change was the hair. Unnaturally long strands of black hair, tied with a simple piece of leather, fell over the shoulder and onto the ground. The headband was still there, holding the strands out of the eyes. But now his body held a resemblance to someone he had never met personally, but knew enough about.

"Otousan."

The red eyed man was without a doubt the father of Sephiroth; their faces held the same fine bone structure. When one looked closely, you would find a hint of the exotic ancestry the Wutai were famous for. Of course, Sephiroth had been far taller than Vincent. The Mako injections, given since infant age, had influenced his growth immensely. His Nii-sama had also inherited his father's green eyes. Their colour and shape looking exactly like the ones the vampire had been born with. That technically made him his father too.

"Seems between Vincent and Cloud's something going on."

It certainly was that way; both Niisan and Vincent weren't exactly touchy people. More the opposite really, both barely spoke and preferred to observe from the shadows. Kadaj felt as his shoulders shrugged, indicating to Zack, that he didn't know.

Okay, that was a lie. He had known about them, but that wasn't Zack's business. He didn't even know whether to be pleased about the development or pissed. Well a bit too late since they had been together for a long time. But still, it made him want to ask a few questions.

He could feel Aerith's eyes on him. Turning his face away from Cloud, who was now talking to Nanaki, his catlike eyes met the emerald green ones of the Cetra girl. Again, one of those enigmatic smiles graced her lips. Did she know? Probably, she was watching over Cloud since her death.

His eyes turned back to his Niisan and he was surprised to lock gazes with him. As if he was visible and his brother could see him. Those deep blue eyes, beautiful, ageless and full of wisdom, gained from a long life, were enough to set his body afire. He felt like he was burning alive. Then his Niisan smiled, not the fake one, neither his hesitant one, no a real smile. He turned his head, heat creeping up his neck and hid his face behind a curtain of silver strands. He had done that on the day they first had met.

Not for the first time he wondered if his brother knew. Had he recognized him as they first met on the battlefield? Or was he still clueless? Did his Niisan knew, that they had first met six months before they fought for the first time?

Flashback

Kadaj sighed as he stalked through the ruins of sector five. Really, he loved his brothers, but sometimes they overdid it with their protectiveness. Okay.. so he was just 16 years, barely legal and had no normal experiences concerning life, but he was his mother's child. Unarmed he could put up a fight against Yazoo and Loz, that even if they won in the end, they still would be nursing their bruises and wounds for weeks after. He could take care of himself, damn it. No, he wouldn't stomp with his feet.

_"There's no need to look after me! Yazoo, I can take care of myself!"_

"That doesn't matter chibi, we are your older brothers. It's our right to protect you."

Yazoo and Loz were more stubborn than any chocobo. To them it didn't matter, that he was the strongest of them or the manifestation of Jenjova's will. NO, to them he was their little brother and he needed to be protected from anyone and anything, especially human culture and influences. As if those weak creatures could influence him.

Not tonight though, looking around he passed the gate leading to sector 6. Tonight he wanted to have fun. Their search for mother hadn't brought the desired results. For nearly eight months they had combed the entire Nibel region and Icicle Town in search for her. Professor Hojo's laboratories had been located there, but nothing. Not even the slightest clue as to where she could be. She was certainly still alive, as the voice in his head proved, but after her defeat at her misguided son's hands… there was barely anything left of her. She needed him and his brothers.

But she had told him, when they would find her... then she would make sure, that HE could return and the planet's fate would be sealed. Smirking he passed the apothecary, not noticing how the people made room for him to pass through. After eight months of fruitless search, they had decided to check if their mother's _other_ plan was working. Only a few weeks after the destruction of Meteor people had started to get sick.

The symptoms were always the same, blotches of skin formed on the body like tumours, skin paled until it became grey and the lungs filled with an unidentified fluid, coughing became a necessary evil but it hurt like hell. The older ones died after only a few weeks, while the children could live for months with the disease before they died.

They named it Geostigma.

No one knew where it came from. The three silver haired brothers being the exception. Mother, her essence had been absorbed by the lifestream and she had poisoned life. In turn the lifestream had infected the people. Soon they would be useful. Yazoo had gone to Wutai to see how many children had caught Geostigma there, while Loz had gone to Kalm. He was left with Midgar. A brief screening had shown him, that far more then thirty children had been infected with their mother's thoughts. More than enough for their plan to work, but the most important thing was, that it the Geostigma needed to be in the ending stage before they could use the children. He wasn't worried though; there would be more than enough for the end. He discovered sector 6 to be a colourful area; Mako lights flashed restlessly in the darkness, drunks were wandering the paths and beggars searched for a place to stay during the night. All in all Kadaj was more disgusted by the life of the inhabitants of Midgar than anything else, but curiosity was known to kill the cat or kitten in his case. He wanted to see what humans did for entertainment, strictly educational of course. Know thy enemy was something one should take to heart. So he walked further into the area; well aware of the fact that many eyes were following him. Ignorance was all he granted them, none of them would be a threat, he knew.

He had for once left his combat clothes behind, the leather pants had been replaced with softer leather pants. They had the same cut, tight on his thighs and flaring over his boots. There were a few slits in the fabric held together with laces, why he couldn't figure out. He found it to be highly impractical not to mention cold. Instead of the armour he wore a shirt in green, to match his eyes as the shopkeeper had said. The silky fabric was held together by strings in the long sleeves and sides underneath the arms. Looking back he decided, that he should have chosen a bigger size as this one was entirely too short. Besides all those disgusting humans stared at him or to be precise at his navel. Again he couldn't understand why. Had they never seen another person partly unclothed? Perhaps it was a human thing?

Shaking his head he ignored the stares and stepped into a shortcut between two barracks. A broken mirror made him pause though. Curios he studied himself for a brief moment. He and his brothers didn't have one in the forest as it was entirely impractical. They had no use for such things. Since their escape from the laboratory months ago he hadn't seen himself this clearly. He looked … different. No wonder, his hair hadn't its usual silvery colour. The long traces still reached till his shoulder blades.

To remain undetected as their mother wanted them to be he had used a black powder to dye his hair from silver to black greyish. That small change ensured that he wouldn't be noticed too much. Greying hair was a common sight to people living under the plates. The years of never being in the sunlight and breathing the poisonous air caused even the younger men and women to having grey hair early. As for his pale skin, he blended in with the other inhabitants. The only difference was that his skin was flawless. For his eyes though, there was nothing to be done. They remained poisonous green, like the eyes of a Wutaian wildcat.

Looking around like a little child he tried to take everything in, the lights, the people, the shops and bars. Just about everything. For a while he just wandered around, spied on people as they haggled for material prizes or simply talked. Geostigma was naturally THE talk of the sectors, because just about everyone was somewhere concerned. Not only the poor ones under the plate were subjected to it, but the rich ones on the plates as well.

Hiding a smirk, he slipped away. He wasn't afraid of being followed; practically everyone here was hiding one thing or another. Spying and listening to other people's conversation happened every minute. For him on the other hand it was a new thing and he had to force himself to keep his emotions under control. Excitement was bubbling beneath his calm façade. He was disgusted enough, that the emotions were there at all. According to mother they would have been best off without them. But their human like shells were just like that: Adapted to humanity, to act human and to be seen like a human.

Everything was just so complicated.

"Hey, you kid."

Was there someone talking to him? Turning around he came face to face with a tall man around forty, he was wearing expensive clothes for someone, who lived under the plate. His hair was groomed as was the beard, obviously someone with money. Raising one eyebrow, he looked at the man. What he could want from him? And who in Shiva's name gave him the right to call him kid! Barely his brothers had that privilege and only when he was in a good mood. Sadly he had also left Souba behind, pity.

He supposed it couldn't hurt to listen to the human, maybe he had important information? At least he looked more important than the countless scoundrels he had encountered so far.

"Yes?"

The man came slightly closer, all while watching their surroundings from the corner of his eyes. Was there something to be afraid of? His senses told him, that there was no immediate danger. Weird.

"You need a job boy?"

'Job?' Certainly not, he had already a mission to complete and after that, there would be nothing left of this rock. He shook his head in negative, before turning around to leave. For human trivialities he had no time.

"Wait a second? Why don't we have a drink and you think about it?"

Turning around he grazed the man with an annoyed glare, ready cut him down to the size of a matchbox. While Souba wasn't there to be used a small but very sharp Wakizashi had been strapped to his right arm. On the other hand, he was kind of thirsty. It had been days since he had a proper meal and he had a few Gil left from one of the scientist in the Icicle Laboratory. He was sure the dead man wouldn't mind him drinking and eating from it. After all he always harped about their diet.

Therefore he nodded shortly. The man relaxed more than a little. Sizing him up, Kadaj could immediately tell, that he wouldn't be a danger to him in a fight, even if didn't have a weapon.

"Come, I know just the place. My name is Don Corneo by the way."

He followed, but never opened his mouth. Sidestepping the man's attempt to put the arm around his shoulders he glared. The arm was withdrawn faster than he thought possible for such a fat pig. Now that was amusing. He could smell the man's fear. The man, Corneo, shuddered. His own smirk widened. Fun indeed…

Their journey was a short one; apparently it was one of the better bars: "The black chocobo" it was called. The interior wasn't completely dirty, the damages were tolerable and there even seemed to be air conditioning. But the smell of Mako was even worse than outside. Having gotten injections of that liquid since forever didn't do much for the immunity against the stench.

The waitress led them to a booth in the corner; music was playing in the background. Sitting down he looked around, this seemed to be some kind of place to eat and make a fool out of himself, if the figures on that weird flashing floor were anything to go by. Some of his disbelief must have shown on his face as Corneo pushed a glass in front of him.

"Your not one for dancing I take it?"

Dancing? What was that, if the man meant moving like an idiot to music? Then yes it was definitely not his thing. He shook his head, before taking a swing from the glass. It burned his throat and he spat nearly the whole gulp over the table. Corneo chuckled slightly before patting his arm lightly. At his glare he snatched his hand back. What a clever decision. So humans did have some preservation senses…?

"Sorry kid; never drunk such a fine alcohol, did you?"

"What is this?"  
He stared suspiciously at the concoction in his glass. It didn't taste that good.

"Green apple, whiskey and two drops of M."

Alright, if he had now known what that was. Well green apple that was a juice one could buy in every market. Yazoo even favoured that one, while Loz hated juice. But M? He had no clue. Hojo really should have taught them more than fighting and strategy.

"Drink slower next time, savour the taste."

The glass was once more pushed in front of him and surprisingly enough he took the human's advice. His next sip was tentative, it still burned his throat, but not as badly as before. His body was warming up, which was a bit confusing. Alcohol had normally no real effect on humans with Mako injections, but then again he was his mother's child. Perhaps the effects varied because of his genes? The human rambled on about something, while Kadaj watched him. Humans were odd creatures he decided. Looking around he caught sight of a darkened corner.

The light had been dimmed in that area and even with his enhanced sight; his eyes could only make out moving silhouettes. But if he concentrated and let the music fade into the background, and then he could hear odd noises coming from the corner. What was going on there?

"Is everything alright?"

Corneo was watching him with a mixture of amusement and curiosity. He had already a second glass of the golden liquid in his hands. He gestured over to the corner.

"Not used to such a display?"

What did he mean? Wasn't that a drinking area too? He and his brothers really didn't know much about the humans and their habits...

"No, not really."

"You want another drink?"

An odd way to change the subject, but who was he to complain? Learning the habits of humans could prove to be useful later. Before Kadaj could answer another glass was placed in front of him, this time though it was filled with a red liquid and a fruit was placed on top of the cream. He didn't know this fruit; it was a dark red and had an almost round form.

"It's a cherry. The best you can buy. Come on, taste it."

Kadaj eyed the man with suspicion. Why did he look at him with this weird expression? Hesitantly he picked the dark red fruit up.

"What a distrustful fellow? Don't worry it's just a cherry. Nothing harmful."

Still watching the man Kadaj placed the little thing between his lips and bit it in half. Corneo was bemused; it had been awhile since he had picked up such a careful kid. That would be fun. The fruit tasted surprisingly sweet, swallowing the rest he nipped at the drink. This one was much sweeter than the first one. And the thirst came back; tipping his head back he emptied the whole glass. Heat filled his face, and a wave of dizziness overcame him. That was weird. What was that?

"Don't drink so fast."

Another glass stood in front of him and he had no idea how it got there. Since his vision had begun to blur at the edges he only took little nips of the drink. Then the man grabbed his hand and pulled him up. Kadaj surprised himself by not drawing his dagger and killing him immediately. Something was seriously wrong with him.

"Let's sit over there. It's... quieter and we won't be disturbed."

"Corneo..."

Then the man paled, his skin turning in a ghostly shade of white. Following the voice he just heard Kadaj turned around. There stood a young man. He wore what Kadaj recognized as a modified SOLDIER uniform. There was an odd shoulder guard with a broach pinned into it. Over the left arm he wore a long sleeve. The right hand and lower arm were protected by a black leather glove. The upper arm was free. But it weren't the clothes what caught his attention, no… the eyes. Blue eyes... with a hint of Mako green. He had never seen such eyes before; they glowed in the dim light. Dimly they reminded him of something, but at the moment he couldn't connect them to anything. His normally sharp mind felt like filled with cotton wool.

He turned his eyes back to his 'host'. He frowned; the man had paled even more, if that was possible. Kadaj didn't even know that human skin could take such colours, while they were alive. Then Corneo jumped away, hands held out in front of him. The man was near tears. A pathetic display of fear but why did he act like that?

"I didn't do anything. Really just talked to the kid!"

The young man with the blue eyes frowned, which seemed to make Corneo even more nervous. His face twisted into an expression what apparently should pass for innocence. He and his brothers didn't know much about humans expressions, but this one wouldn't have fooled any of them.

"Alright, I admit it. I gave him strong alcohol. But otherwise I didn't lay a hand on him."

The SOLDIER still frowned. Corneo made a frightened sound then hastened away evading the hand of the young man. Kadaj's eyes followed as did those blue ones. He stepped slightly into the light and Kadaj forgot to breath. Now he knew; where he had seen those eyes before. In the files of professor Hojo. This was his Niisan, the one Hojo had called a failure and who had in the end defeated Sephiroth-sama.

He studied his brother, trying take in every detail. This was the first time he had ever seen him in person. Of course, Hojo had shown them pictures and a few security videos, but the green eyed teen thought they didn't do his brother justice. He was … different in person.

"Do you know him?"

By Shiva, his Niisan spoke with him, but he reminded himself sharply.

_He doesn't know you, neither does he know who... or what you are…_

The voice in his head sounded suspiciously like Yazoo's. Then he noticed that the blue eyes still rested on him expectantly. So he shook his head, hiding his eyes and face behind his hair. No need to make him suspicious. Mako eyes were only rarely seen after Meteor since most SOLDIERS had died in the battles. Someone as young as him was bound to raise suspicion.

"Be careful, whom you pick as your drinking partner. Some might take advantage of you, if you're not sober anymore."

"Excuse me?"

What in Bahamut's name meant Niisan with his advice? That the man, Corneo, was not to be trusted or had bad intentions? He had known that, but Niisan didn't know what He, Kadaj, was capable of. He probably simply saw a young teen drinking himself silly. His brother was certainly compassionate.

He felt his face grow even redder, with shame this time though. Shame he shouldn't feel after all this was the one who had killed their mother and their oldest brother. Killing him would be the best action to take. But without Souba that might be a problem. He was no fool. To assume to be able to kill his Niisan with a simple Wakizashi was absurd.

"Do you know, where he wanted to bring you?"

He pointed towards the darkened corner and the young man adopted a shocked and then a second later a resigned expression. Only then Kadaj realized that his brother was carrying a parcel with him. He could make out the name: Corneo. So that's why they had met, his Niisan wanted to deliver a package to the human. But Corneo had misread the situation and had fled. Why? That particular word seemed to pop up every few minute in the last hours. He supposed it was because of his ignorance of the world of the humans.

"You are a prostitute, aren't you?"

Okay, perhaps he should just leave, this was getting ridiculous. There was no way that he would himself be questioned by Cloud Strife. Brother or not, he was still the reason he, Yazoo and Loz had suffered so much.

"That's none of your business!"

What the heck was a 'Prostitute' anyway? Alright perhaps that was the wrong way to go at the problem, since his Niisan merely lifted an eyebrow, shrugged and then pushed the package into his arms. What the…! Kadaj felt that something just had made click in the spiky head of his Niisan and he had missed it.

"I'm sorry. Give that Corneo when you meet him."

With that the blond SOLDIER turned around and left, leaving a bewildered Kadaj behind. Why would his brother think that he would see the man again? They just had drunk something together. Shrugging his shoulder he left the bar, the guy Corneo had paid beforehand so there was no need to worry about that, not that he had worried at all.

Now he was walking with a parcel through the paths of sector 6, his head was still fuzzy and he had no idea on what to do now. His headache was getting worse as the minutes passed and he didn't understand it. Alcohol had no influence on him so what had caused this? He should find an inn for the night, something was definitely wrong with him.

"What do we have there?"

What now, he was in no mood to associate in any shape or form with humans. There next to the wall of an unknown club stood a man. He would guess him to be in his late thirties and he was taller than Loz. That said something. His older brother was with 6ft 2inches not on the short side. He on the other hand was only 5ft 5inches and petite despite the power his body contained. The stranger towered over him and tried his hardest to look like a badass. If his head hadn't hurt so much he would have laughed.

"What!"

His voice sounded like the hiss of an angry kitten. It was a clear warning; anyone with a half a brain would have gotten that. Sadly the stranger looked only slightly cowed before he racked his eyes over Kadaj's form. He pushed himself off the wall and came closer. Green eyes narrowed and his arm inched closer to his right sleeve where his weapon was concealed.

"I saw you with Corneo earlier. You could really do better than that."

He still hadn't a clue what he talked about, but one fact was clear he was in no shape to pretend now. All he wanted to do was getting sleep to get rid of his headache. Without a sound his short sword was released, all he had to do now was make a gesture and the idiot would be dead.

"I don't know what you are talking about, but you better leave! NOW!"

That bastard laughed, enough was enough! His patience was at its end. The stranger jumped forward grabbing one of his arms and twisting. Kadaj let his body fell forward, one leg kicking out and he heard the satisfying crack of breaking bones. The knee and calve were damaged beyond repair. With a swishing sound the blade flew off its sheath and before the human could scream he was silenced for eternity.

Leaning against the wall, he panted softly. Whatever he had ingested took a toll on his body. He needed to find an inn soon. Sheathing the blade he spared no glance for the body next to the Honey Bee. Murder was here as common as everyone else and no one would call the security.

He remembered seeing an inn near the entrance of the sector. Turning around he headed for the inn, only to keel over after six steps. The last thing he noticed was that he had lost the package of his Niisan, then only darkness.

He awoke to strange sounds. Groaning he sat up, rubbing his head softly. What had happened? Then he remembered, within the blink of an eye he was up, hand ready to grab the hidden blade, which wasn't there anymore. Looking around he was met with the sight of nicely decorated walls made from spare wood. There was even a small window, looking out he had a good view of sector 6. That meant he was at the inn, but how had he made it?

The answer came in form of a now familiar face framed by blond spikes, muttering curses. His brother closed the door behind himself while rubbing the wet strands. He stopped abruptly as he noticed that his guest wasn't unconscious anymore. Blue eyes peered at him and Kadaj couldn't look away. Those sapphires were enchanting.

"How did I get here?"

Well, that wasn't the question he had wanted to ask, but it would work. Taking the blanket he wrapped himself in it, he felt unnatural cold.

"I carried you here."

"Why?"

"I was told that you were not one of Corneo's... toys. I searched for you because of the delivery I gave you."

"That still doesn't explain why you brought me here. You could have grabbed your package and let me be."

"You do know, that being defenceless near the Honey Bee is dangerous, don't you?"

"No!"

"I see."

Then he became quiet, he sat himself on the chair near the window and began to write something. Kadaj watched him fascinated, there might never be a chance again to study his brother outside of the battlefield. Their meeting there was fated, he knew. He had read enough in the files to know, that his Niisan would never let them have their reunion. Besides something deep inside yearned for him. He couldn't explain it and what frightened him was the fact that those feelings didn't feel like his own. It scared him more than he would ever admit.

Niisan reminded him of Yazoo. His oldest brother, too, could sit down for hours, doing something and brood over one topic or another. Loz was the complete opposite, he always had to move and if it was just rearranging their camp or scouting the area. He himself appreciated both Yazoo's quietness as Loz's energy.

Shuddering he pulled the sheets tighter around himself. He didn't know why he felt so cold. Normally his body kept a constant temperature, but now he felt like was flowing through his veins.

"Take a bath, if you're cold."

His Niisan hadn't looked up from what he was writing, but his left hand pointed towards one of the doors. Obviously the room had its own bathroom. The sheets pooled around his feet as he stood. Dizziness rolled over him and he stumbled forward. Strong arms caught him before he hit the floor though. Looking up he drowned in those blue eyes. An intense unknown feeling swept over him and pooled in his stomach.

"You okay?"

He shook his head, okay was certainly not the word he would use to describe his current condition. What surprised him, that he was being honest for once. Had Yazoo or Loz asked he would have assured them, that he was perfectly fine.

"Your name?"

"Kadaj."

"I'm Cloud."

Cloud lifted him up and steadied him before letting go. He took a few steps but again nearly keeled over. The blond simply helped him to the bathroom before leaving him alone without one word.

The bathroom was completely different from the ones he knew. The bathrooms in the in the laboratories had been white and completely sterile. This bathroom had no warm water. You had to use fire material to heat the water in the tub. A small piece of materia was placed next to the tub. It was barely enough to get a good fire going; luckily he could channel the power and triple it. Soon there was this nice bath waiting for him. Placing his clothes at one side he sank into the warm water. Carefully he leaned his head on the rim of the tub, his hair wasn't allowed to get wet, otherwise the powder would be washed out.

For once he enjoyed the bath, warm water had been a rarity since they escaped professor Hojo's laboratory in Icicle Town. Mostly they had washed at rivers since they avoided staying in villages. They couldn't afford to draw attention to themselves. Because even nearly two years after Meteor the description of Sephiroth was still fresh in peoples' mind. Three young men looking almost like him was certainly more than a bit suspicious.

But everything good had to end and the water began to get cold. Heaving himself out of the tub, he grabbed one of the rags that were supposed to pass off as towels. Putting his clothes back on, he opened the door and stepped back into the bedroom. His Niisan hadn't moved. He was still sitting on the chair but now he was reading something, not even looking up as he shut the door.

For someone who had seen so much in life his Niisan was surprisingly trusting. Or he knew that he was strong enough to defend himself. He vouched for the latter; he had seen the distrust in his Niisan's eyes as they had spoken in the bar. Still feeling a bit dizzy and cold, he sat on the bed and took the sheets from the ground, wrapping them around himself. Only then he turned his attention back on his brother.

"Where is my dagger?"

"On the nightstand behind you."

True to his word, there was his Wakizashi. Studying it closer he discovered that the blade was completely clean. Had his brother done that? Obviously since no one had come close to him.

"You cleaned it."

"Yes."

Correction, he was worse than Yazoo. The oldest of them at least didn't answer in monotonic syllables or one word sentences. He made an effort, but Niisan? Shaking his head he examined the weapon carefully, he had no reason to believe that his Niisan had tempered with it, but he had to make sure.

"Why did you clean it?"

Now he had his attention. The blond laid the paper aside and faced him. Blue eyes studying him in return to his own questioning stare.

"If you haven't noticed, your right sleeve is completely soaked in blood. I thought it was yours until I noticed the sheath you carried beneath the sleeve. Throw a beheaded body seven feet away from your location into the mix and you get a picture."

"He was threatening me."

"No need for defending yourself, no one has accused you."

"I didn't."

"Whatever."

Conversation ended. Definitely worse than Yazoo. Pulling the sheets up he stretched out on the bed. Perhaps a nap would make that dreadful dizziness and headache go away... closing his eyes he was fast asleep. His last thought was that he had fallen asleep with a potential enemy in the same room. He didn't find much sleep though, only a few minutes after falling asleep the same odd sound, which had woken him the first time, started again.

Groaning he lifted his head from the pillow, looking at the wall to his right. What was going on? Looking to his right he could see his brother frowning and sighing with was without a doubt annoyance. He muttered something, a human wouldn't have understood it, but his fine ears caught it.

"Newly weds…"

Sinking back he sighed, at least he knew, what newly weds were. Hojo had once in a rare moment of humanity spoken of his dead wife Lucrecia. He had bound himself to her by taking her as his wife, he had wed her, which meant the day they had married they were newly weds. But the odd noises? Was that behaviour part of being newly weds too?

"Does marriage equal such odd noises?"

Now his brother's attention was once again on him. He looked at him in a questioning manner, one eyebrow hidden beneath the blond bangs.

"You're not from Midgar, are you?"

"No! Why?"

"You're naivety speaks for itself!"

"I'm not naive!"

"Perhaps not in everything, but your question certainly indicated, that you have no idea what is going on in the room right next to this one. Am I correct?"

"What of it? You cannot know everything!"

"You're being defensive, again."

Kadaj shut his mouth with a snap. He didn't understand it, something in him urged him on to argue with the blond young man he knew to be his brother. Emotions, useless, the only thing they did was confusing and making him questioning his own actions. Besides he felt another emotion, one he wanted for unknown reasons never examine closer. It resembled at bit the need he had for their mother, but at the same time it was so different. Wrong thoughts, change the topic.

A loud sound from the room to their right was heard and silence descended over them. His brother breathed a sigh of relief before turning his attention back to the book. Conversation closed! What the... who gave him the right to ignore him.

"So what was that earlier?"

He could feel the burning gaze of his older brother on his back but he ignored it instead focusing on his hands, which were fiddling with the hem of the sheet. He hated to ask for something. Yazoo and Loz being the exception.

"Sex, their wedding night I would say."

'Wedding night?' Okay that one he knew, but the first one? No clue. He wondered if Yazoo or Loz knew. Chances were 50/50 as they were a bit older. On the other hand, they had received the same training he had. Now, should he ask Cloud? God that sounded weird to him, even in his thoughts. He should stick to brother.

"What is that?"

"What is what?"

"Sex?"

It was rather amusing to watch as the book his Niisan had read fell to the ground with a thud; the look though was even more amusing. The blue eyed man looked shocked. A small laughing sound escaped his lips. He couldn't remember the last time he had laughed.

"You look funny."

"How old are you!"

"16... why?"

For the first time his brother looked annoyed. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. Then he shook his head.

"Never mind, just forget that I asked."

"I want to know what Sex is!"

Okay, sounding and acting like a child for once didn't bring anything. The man ignored him and continued his reading after fetching his book. He opted for sulking, mouth pulled into a pouting expression. Yazoo once said that they couldn't resist this pout, but he was ignored. Grumbling he let his head fall onto the pillow, the blond was lucky that he left Souba behind otherwise he would have been dead ages ago.

_But he helped you… he didn't have to…_

Maybe he wouldn't have killed him immediately. But as soon as he would have proved to be a threat to their mission. A snapping sound made him turn his head. His Niisan yawned before closing the book. Stretching the young swordsman stood and turned towards the bed.

"Move!"

"Excuse me?"

"It's late and I want to go to sleep. You're between me and the bed."

Now he pouted in earnest, should he sleep on the floor? His Niisan wouldn't do that, would he? To his luck it appeared that Yazoo was right; _no one_ could resist his pout. The blond man sighed.

"Move over!"

"What?"

"You obviously don't want to leave the bed and I want to sleep. So I suggest we share the bed. Otherwise you'll get the floor."

Well, spoken like that…He had no problem. Scooting to the side he lifted the sheets. His brother simply divested himself of his boots, gloves and belts before slipping in next to him. After a small 'good night' his Niisan closed his eyes and fell asleep. Kadaj stayed awake though and studied the older man. With the closed eyes and a relaxed face he looked far younger than his 23 years.

He was a confusing person, his brother. He still didn't understand why he had helped him. Wasn't he a complete stranger? A potential danger? No answers to any of these questions would come to him. At least his headache had lessened somewhat; he hoped it would be gone by the time he returned to his brothers. Otherwise the following days would be unpleasant. Loz and Yazoo wouldn't sympathise with him once they learned that he had been drinking human concoctions.

He should be sleeping too, carefully as not to wake the person next to him he placed his head on the pillow and closed his eyes, ignoring the emotions that tightened his chest. Knowing this was going to be a one time thing, he quickly fell asleep. Only to be woken again minutes later. He was surprised to note that he and his brothers had shifted positions in the short time they'd been sleeping.

His head was pillowed on his Niisan's chest and one of his arms was slung around his waist. The blond had his legs tangled with his own. Unusual strong arms rested on his waist and hips. He could feel his brother's body heat, it was a nice... feeling, lying in the arms of a person and waking up with someone. Keeping his breathing slow and even he listened to the calm heartbeat of his brother; he still appeared to be asleep.

Then that noise, which had woken him three times in one day, returned. He wanted to groan in anger, but he feared Cloud would wake up and then they would have to separate. So he kept quiet and stayed where he was. His brother was a light sleeper too without giving an outwardly sign the Ex-SOLDIER was awake and Kadaj only noticed because he could listen to the heartbeat. Silently he wondered if his own heart really was hammering so fast, too. That it felt like it was jumping out of his ribcage.

The hands around his waist tightened for a second before they were silently withdrawn, leaving him vulnerable and with a cold feeling in his chest. Apparently Cloud had yet to notice that he was awake, otherwise he would probably been less careful. One leg pulled away and then the other one. Perhaps it was time to show that he was awake?

Flexing his hand he tightened his own grip on the blonde's waist, making a protesting noise. Then hands clamped around his arms making him release the body beneath. He tilted his face upwards and he met the blue sapphires that were his brothers' eyes. Those anguished emotions raged inside his mind, but for the first time he ignored and pushed the conflict aside; not tonight.

Their gazes locked and he was lost. How could one tell another being everything he felt with one single look? He didn't know but somehow willed every ounce of emotion he felt into his gaze. His brother's eyes were marked with sadness and guilt, but there was something else: understanding, kindness and an emotion he couldn't define.

Kadaj opened his mouth, he wanted to speak, but what could you say to your kindred soul? To someone who understood you, even though you'd never spoke a word or had known only for hours? Then a finger was placed on his lips. Those blue eyes looked at him with such despair… he wanted it go away.

"Don't…"

His body was pulled closer with gentle strength. He wanted to do something, but had no idea what. A hand cupped his jaw, tilting his face. He took a shaky breath until his mouth was closed by another pair of lips. A tingling feeling spread through his body, never in his short life he had felt like this. The second hand slid to his waist and fit their bodies together before gliding up his chest.

Their lips separated, noses still touching. Kadaj stared into those eyes, he never wanted this to end for reasons he couldn't explain. Cloud caressed his face softly, such tenderness made him sigh softly. His own hand clasped his brother's other one and brought it to his mouth. He imitated the blonde's gesture with his lips. Carefully placing his mouth on the fine knuckles. He was clumsy though, having never done this before, but it would not deter him.

Blue eyes lit and a small smile graced his lips. Using his strength he propelled the young teen forward into his arms. Kadaj adjusted his body sitting on the strong thighs. Leaning forward he hid his head in the curve of his Niisan's neck. Kadaj's body was burning with heat and an unknown intense feeling.

The ex-SOLDIER turned his face towards him, there was the worry again. Touching the pale face he bumped their noses together as he kissed him. Then a tongue swept over his mouth and the silver haired teen gasped. A hand was on the back of his head holding him in place. Mirroring his brother's action he tentatively met his tongue with his own. Moaning his arms went around his shoulders, fingers clutching the fabric of the sweater.

Lack of air forced them apart, both breathing heavily. Kadaj calmed a bit, his breathing slowing down. He longed for something indefinable, his own hands sliding over the broad shoulders. The delicate face reflecting serenity and peace. His Niisan was looking at him he could tell. Green eyes were unfocused, he still didn't understand what exactly they were doing... in his lessons and conversations with teachers and the mad scientist such doings had never come up... but if felt _so _good; so he shrugged it aside.

Fingers were toying with the strings holding his shirt together at the left side, focusing on the blond he offered him a small smile, true he didn't know what they were doing, but Cloud did and it felt so very good. Logic demanded that he would have to guide him. That would be a new experience and he found his body tingling with excitement.

With small action the blond made short work of the knot and loosened the strings. The fabric fell away and exposed his left shoulder. Lowering his face he met Cloud's lips. Kissing was fun if a little odd, but thinking was hard when you had better entertainment available. Then the kiss was broken and small pecks were placed on his jaw and down his neck. Kadaj's breathing hitched as a sensitive spot was hit right were the neck met his shoulder.

His hips bucked and he pressed himself against the other body. Green eyes closed pink lips parted he released a breathy moan, he wanted more. Pulling his body away he kissed his brother, aggressive this time. He ground his hips repeatedly into the body below him; fire was boiling in his lower half and he wanted release.

His movements were stopped and the teen made a protesting noise. Then his body was flipped and the world turned upside down. He found himself on the mattress and underneath his brother. Before he could say something his lips were sealed again. Damn that felt good. His lower half still bucked up; pleased he noticed that his Niisan was in a similar state as him.

Too much clothes on he decided, he wanted to feel skin not just fabric. His fingers pulled at the zipper of the blue sweater, exposing the smooth chest. Then the strings on his shirt were loosened and the fabric pulled over his head. The sweater fall off Cloud's shoulders leaving their upper bodies bare.

With shock he registered the scaring on his brother's left arm. Geostigma, not quite in the ending stage but in the progressed one. Cloud of course noticed. His green eyes stared at the scaring and then the blond tried to pull away. Kadaj wouldn't let him, it did matter, yes, but only because he knew now, that his kindred soul would die. Perhaps they would never meet again, whether on the battlefield or in such a place.

Hugging him he twisted until their bodies were aligned, wanting to feel his opposite completely. It seemed someone had made them for each other; they fit together like two pieces of a lock. The heat between his thighs intensified and he pressed himself against the blond. Cloud placed little nips on his shoulder and collarbone, before he tweaked a nipple. Gasping for air his hands clawed at Cloud's shoulders. Those blue eyes sparkled with mirth, mouth pulled into a devious smile before he replaced hands with his lips and teeth.

Moaning he bucked his hips, pulling the spiky head from his chest. Pressing their lips together he kissed him, hard. Skilled hands moving down the lower back, feeling each notch along the spine. His older brother was panting too, taking deep gulps of air. The pale cheeks were flushed and the eyes glowed. He raked his green eyes down the fine body. This was different from anything he had done before.

He fell backwards pulling the other one with him. Kadaj's own hands still trailing down the blonde's back. A small clicking sound brought his attention towards his own pants. His belt had been opened. Getting undressed was a good idea. While he normally really liked this pair of pants, now he cursed them. The leather clung to his thighs like a second skin. Why did he choose them formfitting for the legs again?

Finally the offending article came off. Underneath he wore no underwear as it was inconvenient. Now, he laid bare in front of... his brother? .. his enemy? He didn't know anymore, his thoughts were so confused. He felt those intense eyes on himself and it set him aflame. It felt like someone was looking through his very being. Was his soul mate excited or frightened by what he saw?

Of course Yazoo and Loz had seen him naked before, but this was different for reasons he couldn't explain. This felt so very different, but then again his body had never shown such a reaction to either of them. Not this burning need neither the intense longing, he wanted to know what this was. Carefully he sat up and began to divest his brother of his pants. Finally they both had lost all of their clothes.

He studied the beautiful body in front of him. The skin was flawless and almost unmarred. Just one thin long scar just above the navel, it was silvery and obviously years old. Hadn't it been for his Mako treatments and his special eyesight he would have missed it. He knew without doubt where that scar had come from: Sephiroth. The Nibelheim incident, where his brother had fallen into Hojo's hands. All wounds received after the burning of the town had healed flawlessly. It made him wonder how old he would become.

Both had a slender built but his brothers' body had matured more before the aging process had stopped. Neither of them had facial hair, their faces, arms, torsos and legs were as smooth as they had been on the day they were born. The Mako had caused most of it to fall out; only eyebrows, lashes and the hair remained. He wondered if that would make his Niisan suspicious since he was too young to have been a SOLDIER.

But the gaze held no suspicion only acceptance and understanding, it made him weep inside. But then a hand touched him there. Arching his back, jade green eyes snapping shut he nearly screamed.

Shiva!

His body tensed, air was coming in short gasps and his mind had been turned into mush. He was going mad.

"Ahh.. "

Blue eyes watched with amusement sparkling in them. Another hand pulled him chest to chest with the blond before winding around his hips. Holding him effectively in place. He whimpered and felt like his body would explode at any given moment. His own hands grabbed strands of the thick soft hair as he pressed his lower body against the other one. But Cloud held him in place.

He studied his brother: The tousled hair between his fingers, blue eyes glowing, flushed cheeks, swollen lips and sweaty bare skin. The picture was enough to make his blood boil. Kissing felt good and that on hand him. It should have lasted forever. But then the hand was gone and he felt oddly cold. Looking at his Niisan in confusion he saw that he was now near the end of the bed. Cloud watched him just as intensely. Those eyes piercing his very core with a glance alone.

Cloud took his left calve in his hand and placed kisses and nips on the shin. Kadaj felt his breathing hitch as a nimble tongue danced over his skin. Who would have thought that his leg would be so sensitive? Letting himself fall back he concentrated on the movements of Cloud's lips. The movements became slower and slower the near that clever mouth came to the source of his arousal, he was purring in pleasure. Green eyes half lidded and lips parted.

Skilled fingers danced over his skin, making Kadaj sigh. He had never felt better… okay that was a lie. Seconds later his erection was engulfed by something hot and wet and he lost every thought. Lips parting in silent screams, his back arched, the muscles stiffening and heat pooled in his stomach. Moment later he screamed his pleasure. His head fell to the side. His body, seconds before tense like a bow, was now lying boneless on the sheets. Green eyes snapped open and stared as Cloud wiped a white pearly fluid from his stomach and then sucked it off his fingers. That action made in turn his mouth go dry and that burning feeling returned.

Their eyes connected and in a blink of an eye their lips met, tongues slipping in. His arms went around the strong shoulders, as their pelvis' bucking into each other. Taking the initiative he pushed his brother down and straddled his lower body. Leaning down he explored the chest with mouth and tongue, while listening to the panting and raged moans.

As his fingers touched the sided the young man choked on a laugh. So his Niisan was ticklish…. Lifting his head he dug his fingers into the young man's side. The blond twisted under him, trying to get away. He made no sound, but silent tears of laughter streamed down the face. Then the silver head was grabbed and pulled down. One hand was holding his jaw while the other explored his backbone, notch by notch. It sent tingles through Kadaj's entire being. Stretching his body out. He lay over the blond like a blanket, his long hair tickling Cloud's chest.

His heartbeat was fast and erratic, the teen was pleased with this. Purring he relaxed against the hard body beneath him. Positioning his head on the blonde's shoulder he nipped slightly at the sensitive skin he found there. Blue eyes were closed, head leaning against the board, one hand was caressing his back while the other was placed on his hipbone.

Then fingers slipped further, first trailing over the fair skin of his bottom then dipping a bit deeper. His calm breathing hitched, shoulders tensed and he felt his face redden. Save the scientists no one had ever touched him so intimately. The hand withdrew immediately as his brother noticed his tense frame, but he caught it faster than any normal human could. Smiling shyly he placed the hand back where it had been.

Cloud looked at him questioningly, searching his face for something. He was apparently satisfied, because he smiled himself. His Niisan had a nice smile, only a small uplifting of the corners of his mouth, but it lit his whole face. Smiling he looked years younger.

Carefully Cloud brushed the long greyish strands out of Kadaj's face, lifting his chin, exposing his throat and then sucking at the pale skin. Moaning he clasped one of his legs over Cloud's. The sucking distracted him a few seconds before he became aware of another feeling. The fingers had ventured further… being kissed by the blue eyes man he was being pulled into a sitting position.

Cloud's hand went to one of the dressers and opened the first compartment. The compartment held nothing personal. A few vials among a few other things. The teen recognised them as potion vials normally used for healing of small wounds. For what did they need that?

The ex-SOLDIER closed the dresser again, one vial in his hand. He must have felt the burning gaze on him, because the blond turned his eyes towards him. The vial was placed on the bed and Kadaj was pulled onto his thighs. Green eyes watched the happenings with something akin to curiosity and impatience. The heat in his body began to become too much. He wanted release.

Sitting above his older brother he kissed him again. His hips moving in an urgent rhythm. The blond stopped him again, shaking his head before taking the vial and opening it. He used the potion to coat the fingers of right hand before putting it aside. Kadaj had absolutely no idea, what that was for, but so far his brother had done nothing to make him feel uncomfortable in any shape or form.

Then one hand was caressing his pale skin again, small kisses were placed on neck and jaw, his silver hair was pushed aside as he sighed quietly. Then he felt it, an odd but not exactly uncomfortable feeling. Heat was creeping into his face, ducking his head he let his hair fall into his face to hide it. His fingers clenched, it didn't exactly hurt, but it sure wasn't that good either. That was until those nimble fingers hit something inside of him that made his green eyes roll back.

He couldn't tell if that was him who had just screamed, his mind had been reduced to that incredible feeling his body was enveloped. His nails dug into the skin of his brother's shoulders. His head fell back, he was lost. Then the feeling was gone. Forcing his eyes open he made mewling noises in protest, why did his Niisan stop?

He watched as his brother used the potion again, but this time on his cock. As he was finished the vial shattered on the floor. Cloud didn't seem to be concerned as he didn't spare the shards a second glance. Instead he turned towards him and Kadaj felt his face flush with something akin to excitement. The silver strands were removed from his face and the blue eyes studied him once again.

Searching for doubts or fear he assumed, but there was none in his face, he knew. His Niisan was larger than his fingers, which made him assume it would hurt, but he could take more than a little pain. There was no doubt. He wanted this even if he couldn't name it. As if to prove his intention Kadaj leaned forward, placed a kiss on the chin and lifted his body.

Placing his hands on the blonde's shoulders he lowered himself down. The older man helped by holding his hips up, leaving him in control of speed and rhythm of the moves. Lowering himself down, he hissed slightly as he felt himself being stretched. He had been right it did hurt. Pausing he waited a bit to adjust to the intrusion. After a few minutes he let his hips down completely.

It was painful, clenching his eyes shut he remained motionless waiting for the pain to lessen. Small kisses were placed all over his face and a hand caressed his erection, effectively distracting him from the pain. Opening his eyes he studied his Niisan's face. The eyes were shut and it looked like he was restraining himself. One hand gripped the sheets, the other was wound around his waist. He would have bruises from this. Framing the pale face he leaned forward. Placing his normally silver head against the other in reassurance, before pulling back. He nodded slightly. His brother shifted a bit before moving.

Kadaj screamed. Sensations he never felt before were streaming through his blood making it boil. His body pushed back, a dance as old as life. The rhythm was slow and gentle. His head fell back as they moved, the motions sending him into Nirvana. A hand pried his left hand from the shoulder and intertwined their fingers. After a few minutes the rhythm became faster, seeking release from the pressure they both felt. Kadaj arched his back that spot again! Green eyes rolled back, his breathing failed, stars coloured his vision and his muscles stiffened. One last thrust and he came. His Niisan followed seconds later with an audible groan.

The blonde sank back onto the sheets, eyes closed. His breathing was uneven and erratic. Carefully the green eyed teen lifted himself off the body below him. The separation caused him to feel empty. Lying next to Cloud, he placed his head on the older ones chest and swung one arm over the waist. Blankets were pulled over their naked forms before the light was extinguished. He was being kissed for the last time before they both fell asleep.

Kadaj was awake before the sun rose, not that he would have seen it, but his inner clock told him that it was time to go. He rose silently, making no sound at all. Artificial light was streaming through the window. Searching for his clothes, he ignored the slight pain he felt. It was nothing compared to what he had endured before and besides this was good pain.

Slipping his clothes on, his greed eyes fell on his brother. Still sleeping he looked like an angel straight from heaven. His chest constricted, realizing, that he didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay at his side, to ensure, that the beautiful smile would always shine.

Sobs threatened to overtake him, he felt like he was choking. No he couldn't stay. Yazoo, Loz and mother still needed him. He was mother's voice on earth, he couldn't just stay away because of his selfish emotions. Mother had been right, he should have been born without them, if it hurt like that. Tying the last string he grabbed his Wakizashi from the nightstand. Drawing the blade he looked at the sleeping man on the bed, it would be so easy…

But in the end he sheathed the weapon again and walked into the bathroom. Looking into the mirror he took notice of every sign that reminded him of last night. His neck was littered with small reddish bruises. It caused him to smile, normally such bruises would have faded minutes after he acquired them. But his Niisan was a child of mother too, it was only to be expected, that his marks would last longer. What about the ones he had made? Would they, too, last longer on Cloud's skin?

No he shouldn't think about it, he had to get away. But he was changed now? Could he go back to his brothers acting like this never happened? He knew the answer and he planned on acting accordingly. Unsheathing the blade he took his hair and tied it into a low ponytail. Before lifting the blade and cutting the ponytail off, just above the ribbon. The normally silver strands fell to the ground and he made no move to catch them.

He had once told Yazoo, that he wanted to grow his hair until the day he died, but now… he was already dead. He knew he had to go on, his mother wanted it that way and Yazoo and Loz too. For them he would go on, but no one could take this moment from him. He was already aware of what would happen, when they found JENOVA. Admitting to the fact was hard, but was brutally honest when he said, that she would consume him and he would do her bidding. Kadaj would vanish and HE would return.

Lifting the hair from the ground he left the bathroom and strode into the bedroom. The smell of their coupling was still in the air, stepping closer to the bed he studied his 'misguided' brother for the last time. Peaceful and unaware, perhaps he dreamed of something pleasant. Then a glint caught his eyes. On his right hand, there was a ring: Silver and shaped like his broach and earring. It looked like it was a bit too big.

Cautiously he stood in front of the bed. Reaching out he slipped the ring from the finger and closed his hand. Watching his brother's face he placed the braid on the chest before walking towards the door. Unlocking it he turned around.

"They're silver."

He wanted his brother to know, what he really looked like. Even if Cloud probably hadn't heard the sentence. The door opened and he stepped out without looking back. He never saw, Cloud opening his eyes, watching him leave, the braid clutched to his chest.

End Flashback

"Kadaj. Come on the portal is closing. We have to go back."

Snapping his eyes open, he turned towards Aerith, who was watching him. Nodding he gave one last glance in the direction of Cloud and Vincent. His fingers sliding over the smooth silver object he wore on his right hand.

"Coming."

Stepping through the portal he went back into the world, where life and death were closely related.

Cloud watched them all go. A slight smile gracing his lips as he did. Vincent had fallen asleep and he was cradling the vampire's head in his lap, black hair spilling over his legs. It was nice to know, that his friends hadn't forgotten. Though most of them he met nowadays in the streets, only Zack, Aerith and Kadaj were left in the promised land.

Looking into the direction where the silver haired youth was leaving the land of the living for another year, he spoke. His fingers going to one of the many pockets hidden in his belts. Silently he caressed the silver strands. .

"I know…"

He didn't finish as Vincent woke up. Wordless they, too, left the cliff.

"Where do you want to go?"

"How about the ancient forest?"

"Sounds good."

And so they did.

Fin…

Chibi (jap.): literally means tiny.

Niisan(jap.): Brother. The-san indicates politeness.

Niisame(jap.): sama has a more respectful meaning.

Otousan(jap.): Polite form of father.


End file.
